Hell-ular, Hoe-bile Phones

Let me tell you a little story. Upon arriving in Germany, I was met with the need to buy a German Sim Card for my mobular telephone, as the roaming charges of using an English sim card would be horrendous and completely unthinkable. So, like any well-mannered individual, I compared prices and rates, shocked at the high prices but continuing before settling on a T-Mobile sim card.

But what’s this? My iPhone is still sim locked for another 3 months? Good heavens, I’ll have to buy a new phone, the cheapest T-mobile offered being €40. So I shelled out this cost, like any well-mannered gentleman. However, a weird occurrence took place; after 3 days, I had no credit left despite topping up €15. I went into T-mobile to discuss this and they told me they would send a letter with all my transactions so I can see what is happening. Understandable. This letter never arrived, so 2 weeks later and no further credit, I entered T-mobile again, asking for it to be sent again. This time, however the lady offered to get it through fax. What was faxed instead was a letter for me to sign that I was who I was. Which never arrived. The next day I returned and signed the fax. A week later, I finally receive the letter! What luck! But hang on… I am being charged 30c for every text and 50c per minute for every phone call. Good lord! This is because T-mobile connected me to the wrong operator. I asked, like any mild-mannered human being, if they would reimburse me for their mistake. They would not.

So off to Vodafone, with their deal of unlimited internet and texting and 9c for calls, which I was not aware of previously. But goodness, my T-mobile phone is simlocked as well, and will cost €100 to unlock. So the iPhone, and see if I can jailbreak it, afterall, Jailbreaking is completely legal and the only downside is voiding your warranty. But hang on, I have the old iPhone, for which the new technology doesn’t work and has now crashed my iPhone, for which only a complete reset, including losing all nostalgic and sentimental texts, will solve this. So like any mild mannered organism, I decide to buy a completely new, cheap phone for €22.

The battery of which is now refusing to charge up.

Phones of Germany, as one mild-mannered civilian once stated… fuck right off.


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