This needs to stop.

Well hi there! I’m your friendly day-to-day sleep diary for the boy who can’t grow a moustache, Laurence! Here are the hours Laurence slept over the past 7 days.

Thursday: 3am-10am.

Friday: 5am-1pm.

Saturday: 11pm-2am.

Sunday: 8am-1pm. 8pm-12am.

Monday: 6am-2pm.

Tuesday: 7am-1pm.

Wednesday: 7am-3pm.

YAY! I’m getting the average amount of hours sleep a night! This has never happened to me. What’s that? Oh fuck. So yes, it would appear that I have somehow become dislodged. Far from my usual insomniac horror life which normally encompasses 2-3hours sleep at best, I am sleeping a rather healthy amount but all at the wrong time. I haven’t seen the morning on the right side of my sleeping pattern for a very long time. This is partly impeded by the fact that my earliest seminar is at 2pm, meaning that should I want to stay up all night, I can.

However, night-time me is a rather scary me. What used to be a nocturnal creative, who’d watch the sunrise and write over-embellished poems about sunglasses killing people, I have become someone who reads the same page 15 times in a row, stares at the blank wall and ends up going online to look up Steampunk gadgets. The latter being an odd obsession of mine that I’ve had for many years but never told the family for fear of ridicule. This is a dangerous, dangerous place to be in, ohhh yes! I also fear that the Facebook logo might actually get burned into my laptop plasma for being on so much.

In other words, this is in fact the same old healthy insomnia I’ve always had, but because I have nothing to get up in the morning for, it goes by unchallenged. I fail to function at the speed wanted, and end up making odd grumbling sounds, I am not sleeping, but rather crashing… for extended periods of time. Yes, I am my laptop.

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