Exkooz mei

The average German.

In Hollywood there’s the popular plotpoint known as the “cute meet”. For those not a geek in lingo, this is when two characters romantically destined meet via a cute or clumsy setting; ie. walking into one another and dropping their books, accidentally knocking heads, being bumped into one another accidentally by others. I have reached the decision that this must be the ONLY way German people, at least in Heidelberg, ever hook up. Never have I seen a populace so incredibly lacking in spacial awareness, like Beer-filled children they glide from side to side in the street, incapable of walking in single lines.

Making your way through a busy street is an obstacle course comprising of leaping out of sudden turns, darting about people stopping suddenly with no warning, forcing your way around people who seem to believe that crab-walking is the most efficient form of shopping and, of course, jumping over people who decide to bend down and tie their shoelace with no warning whatsoever in the middle of the street. All Metropolis are hectic and have their annoying slow walkers & sudden stoppers. But I’ve never seen such an hapless group of clumsy clogs. It’s actually quite impressive that they can operate as a society, though maybe given the sight from this window is of a man chasing after his jar of olives rolling from the split bag in the arms of a confused looking lady, this society may not be operating for long.

In other, less judgmental news, the script I was writing for the English Department Christmas party is now complete, a bastardisation of the Bard’s “Midsummer Nights Dream”, written in my own take on his rather beautiful, iambic pentameter. I’m not sure which one has more innuendos. I have 2 full days left in Germany before I fly my way back home to Inkland. How is that possible?


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Joanne Stone Williams
    Dec 15, 2011 @ 12:18:11

    I think Frau Merkel may have something to say about the last comment of the middle paragraph! Love to read your version of MND – or is it x-rated? And do you mean ONLY two days or STILL two days?! Either way, looking forward to seeing you!! Mxxx


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