I am terribly sorry, but may I have a cigarette?

So rebellious

Congratulations for if you are reading this, you have discovered a website that has mastered time travel! This is currently being written whilst I am sat in the waiting area of Frankfurt Hahn airport, the time is 7:04pm on Saturday the 17th December, and there’s no internet. When you’re reading this post, it will be the time I have decided to do the arduous task of copy and pasting.

There was so much going on last night that I had to make a decision, and as I felt it’d be fitting to have last night be a festive blur, I went out with Zoe and her dawling German amigo, Miriam to the 90s night. This experience of Halle was much more respectable than my previous one, which involved me, after 2 beers and 1/3rd of a bottle of Absinthe, running away from some very lovely people and ending up in the town 4km west of Heidelberg. There we met up with Lena, Hilli and their maties before partying away to some music, a lot of which I SWEAR was early 2000s. Maybe it just took two years or so for some of the music to hit Germany.

t’was a good night, one where I appear to have mastered my British Accent’s manipulative potential. Looking through the photos we also seemed to make several fairly racist stereotypical asian poses for the camera. But I guess that’s nothing new. Was a fantastic night, I wish I’d gotten the chance to spend more time with others, but they’d all split off into other groups doing different things. The Italian kitchen party sounds like a right laugh, and… oh! I have just received a text from Neil confirming this fact. Wunderschon!

Was nervous about missing my shuttle bus to Hahn airport, as I wasn’t sure exactly where I had to get it, so got up extra early. Which left me with 3 hours to wait after discovering that I got the bus from “right over there”. The bus itself was then a delightful 3 hours of snoozing and trying not to let my shoes make any more loud fart sounds on the shiny floor. Arrived at the airport with low and behold, 2 hours before I could check in. So I decided to read a book, whilst all around me there sat not 1, not 2, hell, not even 4, but 5 middle aged people all sat reading an iPad or Kindle. And here I was sticking to the tradition of good ol’ paper backs. I don’t get this new MTV generation, they have no understanding of tradition! PAH! After finally checking in, I then had to wait another hour before being allowed through security, which when it came around, left me in the ONE lane that had a woman with no understanding of what to do during security. 15 minutes later and I was through, so here I am. It is now 7.13pm and I think I have to go through passport control. There is nothing here to entertain myself with.

Signing out now, to all those in Germany that I love, have a fantastic, FANTASTIC Christmas. I shall be seeing you sooner than you’d like to think. All my love and shit, the next time you’ll be hearing from me, I’ll be in ol’ Landaaaan taaahn.

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