And so ends my week in Guildford. I have caught up with, and possibly over taken, many of the people I’ve missed so much. There are still people on my list, so don’t think you’ve gotten away just yet. First, however, I have to deal with that Christmas thing that everyone seems so fussed about. Walking through Guildford showed many a curious image of Christmas, the most evident one being Nativity images that showed Christ as, not only Caucasian which is a joke in itself (think Osama Bin Laden for a better Jesus impression), but that he is an extremely able bodied and independent baby. Images show the infant as wide eyed, cheery and capable, ignoring the fact that being a newborn, Jesus would’ve been weak, blind and absolutely dependant; which I believe to be just about one of the most humanising and powerful aspects of the to-be Messiah. To make him as a baby somehow God-like, takes away the whole point of the story, whether you believe the tale or not.
I have also recognised another thing that I really hadn’t missed whilst living in Germany; sagging jeans. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as perverted as any other sexually unfulfilled man, and seeing a pair of perky butt cheeks is hardly going to make my day any worse, but the arrogant swagger one has when struggling to keep his jeans up is just embarrassing. Despite the potential comedy when they have to run for their bus, sagging jeans is something I will always associate with being a knobhead. A knobhead who somehow thinks he’s being rebellious or against the curve, or that revealing his skidmarked panties, somehow makes him hard. Maybe if it became public knowledge that by doing this they’re giving gay guys the perfect chance to check out their underwear, the twats might learn to tighten their belts.
Anyhow, it’s home time now. I’ve had a fantastic week back in Guildford, from the catch up drinks to the ball basting dance floors, it’s been brilliant. It’s Christmas eve, I am packed and… yeah, I’m ready. I wish you all a happy holiday.
PS. I am also now severely depressed after originally trying to write “sexually unfulfilled teenager” and realising that it no longer applies to me.