There was a child crying that he wanted a dog for Christmas. But instead he ate turkey just like everybody else. Hope you scallywags enjoyed a most wondrous christmas day and stuff. Wasn’t The Doctor Who special just so wonderfully… average.
So today is boxing day, and most who knows me is aware of how I feel about this. For reasons unclear I always meet this day with anxiety; it’s traditionally the day the whole family comes together. This should be an occasion of joy and festivities but rather I feel it’s one of inter-family comparisons, of brotherly sizings, and awkward conversations… these feelings are pretty unjustified but every year I find myself unable to shake it off. The best advice is to “be yourself”, but myself is someone I kept secret from my aunts and uncles for many years. The acceptance of this self is still vague in many respects and I find such ambiguity makes me behave very unlike myself, I feel I behave churlish and peculiar. I certainly do not, at any point of the day, relax. Inexplicably, I feel many still view me as the emotional 14 year old I once was, so I find myself deliberately trying to change this opinion, and end up saying things that incongruous to the situation. Also, we happen to host every year now, which I feel puts the house, my parents and of course, the cats, under great pressure.
Thankfully each year generally goes pretty damn well, especially when I hear of other eventful reunions my mate’s FB statuses (shouldn’t that be statusi?) reveal. And there are of course things to look forward to about seeing everyone so hopefully I shall have the chance to focus on that. May be on later to revel, or mourn today’s proceedings.