Dear Lungs,

Did you see that? Or, did you hear it as I used my lungs just now? Didja? Didja? Why yes, my friends did all get up to have a smoke and what did I do? Oh, just reject their offer to join them. How’s that for commitment, huh? You can offer that well done cookie any time now.

Of course this does now mean I am that boring person, sat alone to keep the coats and bags company. Oh, the things I do for health. Everyone else can go off an a little adventure, a little trip one might say. Whilst I, the more boring of the human representatives, am left with their possessions. Not as a gift, no, but a karmic bitchslap in the face for being the healthy one. 

I’ve rejected peoples’ offers before but given this happened just as I was opening up this webpage I felt it particularly necessary to note now. Hopefully also to butter you up on the fact I bought a pack of ciggies last night. It was Bingo, it was tiring and I had work to do. And yet, couldn’t get past the halfway point of the stick. The satisfaction of a clear judgement does leave one feeling nicely proud and self-satisfied, almost self-satisfied enough to start a blog about it. Of course I am now sitting here guzzling my new addiction, the sweet, bitter taste of coffee.

Thank you, valiant Coffee trees for letting us cause a holocaust of your offspring so we may enjoy harvesting their essence.