Dear Lungs,

Did you see that? Or, did you hear it as I used my lungs just now? Didja? Didja? Why yes, my friends did all get up to have a smoke and what did I do? Oh, just reject their offer to join them. How’s that for commitment, huh? You can offer that well done cookie any time now.

Of course this does now mean I am that boring person, sat alone to keep the coats and bags company. Oh, the things I do for health. Everyone else can go off an a little adventure, a little trip one might say. Whilst I, the more boring of the human representatives, am left with their possessions. Not as a gift, no, but a karmic bitchslap in the face for being the healthy one. 

I’ve rejected peoples’ offers before but given this happened just as I was opening up this webpage I felt it particularly necessary to note now. Hopefully also to butter you up on the fact I bought a pack of ciggies last night. It was Bingo, it was tiring and I had work to do. And yet, couldn’t get past the halfway point of the stick. The satisfaction of a clear judgement does leave one feeling nicely proud and self-satisfied, almost self-satisfied enough to start a blog about it. Of course I am now sitting here guzzling my new addiction, the sweet, bitter taste of coffee.

Thank you, valiant Coffee trees for letting us cause a holocaust of your offspring so we may enjoy harvesting their essence.




My flash is pretty fly but my hips just don’t lie

By the time I had learnt not to poop my pants, I was considered many things; house-trained, a member of society and a University Student. But with every new experience comes further understanding. As numbers have dwindled and more people leave for their home countries, I’ve found myself in a different domestication. Since a young age, I’ve been told that sitting still was never a concept I could quite grasp, and this became especially true when I entered Surrey. Throwing down the slightly more introverted side that had taken over, the Uni lifestyle hit home with striking accuracy. This became more true with Erasmus, where refusing to sit alone in an empty dorm room, a unanimous effort for all became to experience as much of the city, country and continent as possible.

It was about alcohol, the energy, the bouncing-off-walls and leaping across the stalls, finding new friends and bigger distractions. But I won’t lie, a lot of this was a distraction. It must be concluded that I am an exceedingly boring person, as I can’t bare spending more than one evening with myself alone. But with the broadening of experiences and horizons, so has appreciating a piece of life I thought was long since gone. Diving fork-first into collectively cooked casual meals, letting the television tantalize and indulging in pure enjoyment of a day-to-day existence. I’d always thought continuous stimuli was the key, a project here, a production there and a line of boys behind me. I haven’t lost the previous spontaneous social spectrum, but I’ve gained something much more. Life is a game of tetris and so long as you can fit everything together, that theme tune will forever be in your head and it’ll be glorious.

Another glorious thing I have gained of late is the going-away present of a brand new camera. An old wannabe filmmaker and photograph obsessive (much like every regular facebook user my age), I have found this new present to be a fantastic way to cap off the final week. Given my recent success with technology, this specific device has been chosen for it’s “TOUGH” title, surviving high drops and workable underwater, it is essentially Laurence-proof. Chances are if I drop this beautiful brick, it’s less likely to break and more chance of the earth being thrown out of of orbit.